Of Liquor and Confusion
by BlueWolf007
Summary: Reno shows up at Rudes home hoping to get himself a drink, but instead discovers a peculiar and unexpected guest in his partners’ house. Poor Rude, how will you ever pull this one off? Not Yaoi!


**(Note: I do not own any Final Fantasy characters. If I did, Cid would be a kick-ass astronaut, Yuffie would have every materia she could ever dream of, and that unemotional, sexy, bastard Vincent would be mine!**

**(Well, I guess I have no excuse for this abomination other than the fact that Rude needed a moment where he wasn't so uptight… NOT YAOI!)**

Knock! Knock!

"Hey! Are you deaf man? Open the damn door!" Reno shouted from the front porch. The great door swung open revealing a stern and aggravated face.

"Wow, Rude. Who did you in?" Reno said stepping back, laughing a bit. Rude simply lifted an eyebrow questioningly. Reno pointed to Rudes cheekbone, which had a gash running down it jaggedly, then to his head, which had smaller scratch marks.

"Heh, piss off a chick lately?" He snorted. Rude stiffened.

"What do you want?" Rude asked adjusting his glasses. Reno grinned.

"Wanted to know if you had any Yukon Jack, Permafrost left." He said wearing a devilish grin. Rude nodded before stepping into the kitchen. Reno wandered in, and began to toy with the décor in the elegant looking dinning room.

"Shouldn't you ask for permission before entering someone's house?" Rude stated dryly. Reno glanced around the large but inviting house before answering.

"Nah! Not if you know 'em well enough." Reno responded nonchalantly, plucking at a few shreds of Rudes beige couch.

Rude raised his head up from his well-organized liquor cabinet in impatience.

"If that's so, then what is my favorite color?" He asked seriously. Reno looked up with a questioning glance, and then chuckled.

"You're kidding me, right?" He asked. Rude shook his head.

"If you _knew_ me well enough you could tell." He said before handing him the large bottle. Reno frowned.

"The whole reason for _this_-" Reno said holding up the bottle. "Is for you to get that bunch out of your panties." He taunted swinging azure colored liquid in his face.

"You want some before I leave?" He asked casually. Rude stood motionless.

"Pity." Reno mumbled, mainly to himself.

Reno took a quick sip from the lip of the bottle before turning to walk away, but was stopped when he noticed Rudes scuffed knuckles.

"What happened to your hands? Get in a fight with a weed-whacker?" He laughed as the warmth of the alcohol spread throughout his throat. Rude clasped his hands behind his back. Reno's joke was quickly forgotten when a crash sounded from in the living room.

When they reached the scene a small glass figurine lay shattered across the floor. Reno stared at it curiously, then turned to Rude incredulously.

"Poltergeist?" He asked, half serious. The Grandfather Clock chimed loudly giving Reno a start. Rude remained silent and confined.

"Come on, things like this-" He said pointing to the fragments. "And those-" He pointed to the scratches. "Don't just appear outta nowhere! And, what the Hell is with _that_?" He yelled pointing over at a few colorful feathers scattered about on the fine carpet.

"Spill it!" He demanded throwing a hand out as a gesture. Before either of them could begin another sentence something small and sharp began to climb up onto Reno's leg causing him to give a small jig trying to rid it.

"What in the-?" He stammered stomping his foot as it made its way up the back of his unkempt jacket. By the time it reached Reno's shoulders Rudes lips curled upward into the faintest ghost of a smile.

Reno turned quickly to witness what caused him the heart attack, when a pair of wide green eyes met his. His mind was at a loss.

Rude cleared his throat in attempt _not_ to chuckle… or whatever he does when he's amused, as Reno held up a small fluff-ball by the scruff of the neck as it chewed contentedly on his burgundy ponytail. Reno's eye twitched in utter irritation.

"What the Hell, man?" He growled. Rude held his hand out, as Reno dropped the little nuisance in his palm.

"Well?" Reno began, throwing his mutilated hair back behind him. Rude calmly stroked the little black kittens fur.

"Sutake is my guard cat." Rude stated blatantly as she purred blissfully in his large palm. Reno's mouth was left agape, his eyes wide in disbelief.

The little kitten reached up and snagged onto Rudes shoulder. Rude folded his arms as the kitten made her way up onto the top of his baldhead. Reno looked as though he was going to die when Sutake began happily grooming herself atop his scalp.

"My guard _kitten_." Rude corrected himself after a moments pause. Reno could feel his sanity slowly slipping away by the seconds.

"By the way, I like the color green." Rude admitted keeping a sickeningly, straight face as she batted his glasses out of place. Reno looked at the Yukon Jack bottle before throwing it onto the couch in complete confusion and walking out the door in a daze.

Reno was going to make damn sure that he would _never_ drink again.

**(Well, I was trying to hint towards Rude having a Chocobo chick but figured a sophisticated man like him would need a stealthy partner in crime… Reno doesn't fit the agenda. If you've ever owned a kitten you'll get the majority of the story. Remember reviews are uncontrollably loved!)**


End file.
